Dealing with Your Past

00:00 - Speaker 1 God does what only God can do. He literally takes that which is dead and resurrects it and brings it to life. Is there any dead thing in your life that you think can't live? What are the visions and the dreams that you thought have died? I'm here to tell you God can bring those suckers back to life. What are the relationships that have been killed? And you think, man, I will be single and lonely forever. No, you won't, if you allow God in. 00:26 - Speaker 2 Welcome to the CityLight Church podcast. Thanks for joining us today as we look into God's Word and discover the hope and truth that he has for us. If you want to connect with City Light Church, feel free to visit us at citylightnyc.com. That's citylightnyc.com. Pastor Boyan Jancic and his team believe that the power of the Holy Spirit is already working in our hearts and minds. As you listen to today's teaching, remember that you are deeply loved by God, that you are surrounded by His grace and that he has a real hope and a future for you. That he has a real hope and a future for you. 01:06 - Speaker 1 So again, welcome to CityLight Church. My name is Muhammad Wurri, one of the pastors here. God is really up to something. The reason I said earlier that at City Light we're not taking off for the summer we find that a lot of churches across the country they go into autopilot during the summer months because, you know, people travel, it tends to get lean in churches, but we just refuse to abide by that. Every day we want to believe and grow and get closer to him and be used by him and get a better glimpse of who God is. Amen. So if I'm in relationship with God, in the same way that I don't take a break from my wife because I'm in relationship with her, I'm in covenant with her I'm not taking a break from Jesus. Amen, all right. Some people are like God is good. I'm excited. We had an amazing time in the first service. Pray that the Lord continue to move as he was. Amen. But without any further ado, I'm just going to hop right into the word of God. We're going to start in Genesis 11. We're going to read from 27 to 32. 02:27 This is the genealogy of Terah. Terah begot Abram, nahor and Haran. Haran begot Lot and Haran died before his father, terah, in his native land, in Ur of the Chaldeans. Then Abram and Nahor took wives. The name of Abram's wife was Sarai and the name of Nahor's wife, milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah and the father of Iscah. But Sarai was barren. She had no child and Terah took his son Abram and his grandson Lot, the son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law, sarai, his son Abram's wife, and they went out from there, from Ur of the Chaldeans, to go to the land of Canaan how many people know that's the promised land. And they came to Haran and dwelt there. So the days of Terah were 205 years and Terah died in Haran. 03:24 So one of the most overlooked stories in the Bible involves the father of the father of faith. People know that Abraham is the father of faith. We even sing songs about him. Father Abraham had many sons. Hey, so we're not going to do that today, stop. But people don't really know a lot about Terah. 03:45 And I find it super interesting because Terah, if you look at the scriptures, there's this notation where it looks like God was pushing him, because specifically it says that Terah wanted to go to Canaan. We know that God wanted to use this man's family ultimately to build up the children of Israel to be his own people. But can you believe that God was going to use Terah in order to do it? Because Terah was the patriarch of their family? But the thing is, abram's father, terah, experienced a painful loss that ended up preventing him from reaching his intended destination. The Bible says that his son, haran, died. That was his youngest son. 04:35 This is Lot's daddy, and I just find it so interesting and it's very quick and you'll miss it if you don't pay attention to the Scriptures, because what we look at we tend to read line line line, but understand that these were actual people who lived amen. So what you look at is line line line was years and years of life lived out. So he has this intention to go to the promised land. He's living in a land full of idolatry and pagans. He's probably a pagan himself, but yet he has this inclination I need to get out of this place and I need to go there, the land of milk and honey. And he endeavors to bring his entire family up out of that place and he goes. And it's so funny that he gets to a place that has the same name and there's no insignificant detail in the Bible. So he's traveling to Canaan. His end goal is the place that we know of in the scriptures as the promised land. He's venturing, like every one of us, to get to the promises of God, and then he stops, at the name of his trauma. He stops in the place that is named after his dead son, and the Bible says that he eventually died in that place. And he never makes it to Canaan. Do you see the significance already? Although this family moved from their native land toward the land of milk and honey, canaan, Terah never made it, perhaps when he and his family reached the city that just so happened to have the same name as his dead son. He couldn't go any further. 06:26 Terah had to do what many of us have failed to do, which is pass through Haran in order to get where God was calling him. Meaning we have to face the pain of our past to be healed, before we can go on to that thing called next. Today, I feel like the lord is leading us to a place where we have to discuss and deal with the past. All right, you can unclench your butt cheeks, because the the minute you bring up the past and having to deal. But why, pastor Mo, I'm here? It's the present. Well, there are a lot of things in your past that affect your present and, in some cases, hold you from reaching your future. Because I believe that once thereah, I suspect he was triggered by some of the pains. What was it that stopped him from continuing his journey on to Canaan? What made him stop in Haran? Because, again, there are no insignificant details in the scripture. Haran was a mountain of sorts. 07:46 And here's the thing we live in, a culture today with buzzwords of trauma and victimhood, things that happen in the past that hold people from moving on to their future, people from moving on to their future, like terror. Many of us are shaped by negative experiences and never overcome them to discover the destiny that God is calling us to. Too often we stop short, refusing to believe that we can catch our breath and enjoy an abundant life. We succumb to fears and false perceptions. The enemy defeats us with the lies that bog us down, causing us to lose energy and hope. We get stuck in the doldrums. It's that dead zone from which you can't seem to emerge and get back on track. Seem to emerge and get back on track. You know, it's like I wish that sometimes life came with those big warning signs that they put on the beach. So it's like, you know, riptides, be careful. I wish life had the big ocean level beach side signs that says life comes with hurts. 09:02 Keep moving, because, in essence, what really happens to folks is they experience something and they let that something keep them in that one spot. Believe it or not, you have interacted with a bunch of zombies on a daily basis, people that seem to be alive but they are actually dead, because, although you see them at the Starbucks and they're buying things and they're trudging around on their Monday mornings, really they're dead and they're at the place of trauma, they're at the place of impact, they're at that place of past pain and you know it when you interact with them because they're not quite able to live because of what they've experienced. Again, I told you we live in an age of victimhood. For whatever weird and I say a weird reason, everybody's fighting for the victim chair. It's like even within families, and one, two, three go Ah, got here first Because you know my dad left me and that's why I'm not as successful as I want to be, and then it's like you get one member of the family. That's like kicking the person out of the chair. No, no, no, no. I want to get in the victim chair because you know, um um, well, wait, you already said dad left us. I can't use that one. So what it is, you know, I I was. I was raped, and they bring up these horrendous and powerful. And now here's the thing too these are powerful experiences. 10:57 I don't want you to think that I am minimizing the hurts and the pains of yesterday Amen. But I do find that we hold on more to those things than we actually do the opportunity to get free of them. So many people today are wrapping their entire existence around something that happened 20 years ago and it's stopping you from going forward into your destiny. Did you know that something from yesteryear can show up and poison your future? You ever talk to somebody and you think things are going well, and then you hit a roadblock with them because there's clearly something in their life that they never got over. You don't have to say amen, I know they're sitting with you, but there is this thing called past pain, and I'm not again. My subtle invitation to you today is to allow God to bring healing to what you thought was impossible. 12:02 - Speaker 2 It's not going to be a lot of amens today. 12:13 - Speaker 1 We let the past at times define the future and we never move on. We think we're doing the right thing, but often we're simply doing whatever alleviates pain in some way. People walk around actively living a life of pain avoidance. But did you know that you can't heal what you don't reveal? I'll say it again, and not just because that was bars and it rhymed, but because there's significant truth to it If you don't reveal the things that can. And the reason why I say that is because we live in an age of repression. You went through these things. It actually happened to you. 12:55 Stop lying to yourself and saying that it happened to you, whatever that thing may be, whether it be the abuse, whether it be that pain, whether it be the heartache. Some people get left and relationships end and they refuse to move on because they can't believe it happened to them. And they lie to themselves and say, no, it was the other person, it wasn't me, I don't know what happened. No, no, no, it happened to you. They left you, you got that divorce, that rape happened, that trauma happened, that abuse it actually happened. But the breakthrough and the healing will never come if you don't actually acknowledge that it happened, and I know this is not a sexy run around and jump, because if I said everybody today is going to get $1,000. You didn't know that's your, I'm going to get $1,000 dance. You didn't know that shit, I'm going to get $1,000 danced, it's not that word today, but it is equally as powerful and way more valuable If you would actually give space and allow God in to heal the broken parts of yesterday. Here's the thing that I want everyone in here who calls on the name of Christ, if you are a Christian, a little Christ. Your new image and identity is not in your past failure. You're not in your past mistake, not in your past trauma. Your new identity is wrapped up in the victory that is Jesus Christ, the Messiah. That's who you really are, not your pain, not your past, not even the false image that you think of who you are now. 14:34 Sometimes people look at me and go Pastor Mo, you're saying a lot of these things and you have this confidence and it's probably because of your rugged good looks. What's so funny? But I tell people all the time I'm not this confident because of my style and good looks. I understand it's the burden that I carry. Pray for me. I'm this confident because the only one person who could ever completely reject me and judge me has accepted me thoroughly. He says that I am his forever, that I am loved and accepted, well beloved. 15:19 Once you have that, you are free to stop worrying about what other people are thinking, even what you think about yourself. Because, let's be clear, I wake up on some days and like I don't know, bro, and God is like come on, you know what I said. All right, I'm blessed, I'm good looking, I'm favored, hallelujah. Listen. Sometimes you got to wake up and start the day not declaring what you feel, because some days I don't know about you, but Mondays I don't wake up and say what I feel. I wake up and say what God said I am blessed and highly favored. I'm blessed coming in and I'm blessed going out. I'm blessed in the city, I'm blessed in the field. My children called me blessed. My wife declares that I am a heartbreaker. Where's the camera? She's home right now. Her and the kids they are actively boxing and prepping our entire life so that we can move to a new place this Wednesday. 16:34 But my image, my thought about myself, I'm not getting that from surface level things in my life. Validation is not coming from these things. Validation is coming from the freedom that only he can provide. So the invitation today is to get you to actually acknowledge the things that have happened to you, and not just acknowledge them, but actually be willing to ask him to heal those things. What sense would it make to have a healer on your side? He heals people just by being in their presence, and you wouldn't ask him to take a look at something. 17:28 Listen, we know somebody who is a millionaire because of Bitcoin. If you ever had any interest in Bitcoin, it would be stupid not to go to your friend and go hey, teach me, corey, I got to embarrass you. Could you stand up, brother, praise him, praise him, hallelujah. Now I'm gonna embarrass you further. Could you show me at least one gun, one gun. Can you show me two? Could you show me? Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to share a crazy and wild secret with you. Stand up, stand up, stand up. 18:11 So Corey and I go to the same gym. That doesn't speak much for his gym. I know, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't say that, but there is a difference in how we have utilized the same tools. Thank you, sir. Corey went to the gym. Corey learned everything that there was to all of the different machines, and then he sought help. He found experienced people who knew even more than him, so much so that now he is a trainer of millions. He is a celebrity trainer, as we put it in some circles. You know how, like your social media, you got like 800 people and you're like what people know me? No, he's got millions, but he knows things. So often I will call him up because I know that he knows. Hey, what should I be taking about this? I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm heading in the right direction. 19:19 Church See some people like the guest. They're like oh, you know, still a little fluffy, but pray, but understand this. I used to be close to 400 pounds when I got married to my wife. When she gave me a hug, her hands didn't touch. They do now, though, but look, there was someone in my circle that had a greater knowledge than me that could help me come into breakthrough. You have access to the God, who can set you free, and asking him to bring deliverance and freedom, does anybody actually want to be free? Because there are certain things that happen in life that you should not want nor stomach. If you have the ability to not do it, hallelujah. Hallelujah when we reach debilitating places and the thoughts and the hurts of yesteryear. It's as the land of Haran was for Terah, and one of the things we need is openness and honesty. We need to put ourselves in a place where we can rely on others and invite in the breakthrough, invite in the healing, invite in the breakthrough, invite in the healing. 21:13 I think every one of us at some point can think to different situations of pain that you've gone through. And here's the thing it doesn't have to be as severe and traumatic as an instance like rape. I don't care if you were in the second grade and they called you buckethead for three years At some point that took an effect on you. I don't know what it was that. You got to the seventh grade and you just believed it. Man, I'm buckethead, my head big and I'm so ugly I got to cover it with a bucket. Praise God, I'm going to be single forever because you know old buckethead, praise God. 22:00 Or how about this? You grew up in a family of alcoholics, so you feel like your only option is to be an alcoholic. You are not what you experienced. You are not even where you come from, out of the mouth of babes. You're not those things. And here's the thing for the, for the strong person that goes well, that's not me at all. I don't got none of them. Past hurts you talking about. Nobody touch me, because if they did, like, oh, all right. 22:40 But the one thing that I know that every one of us share, even if we don't share the particular traumas, is we all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are so devastating that we can't get past them. Has anybody ever been divorced? Can I just remind you that your life is not over? Can I give you hope that God has more in store for you, despite Come on, man, listen All these different things that we encounter, the pains, the heartbreaks, the mistakes, the sin. It's not over just because you experienced that thing. Uh, no, ooh, prophesy. Ah, listen, we have to make sure, don't worry, she'll be paid after. We have to make sure that we're not letting the baggage of yesterday continue to hinder us. But here's the thing too you also are in danger of polluting your current relationships. Your baggage from yesterday will make it so that you ruin your future, or your present and your future with other people. 24:00 Listen, how many of you have ever been on family trips before? It doesn't even have to be family trips. You ever been on a girl's trip? You ever been on a guy's trip? There's always the one friend. Everybody packs a simple carry-on, roll it through little, put it in the overhead, sit down, have a good time. Where are my peanuts? But there's always that one person. 24:26 We're only going for three days. Everybody only got the one carry-on. They got two suitcases full, they got the huge duffel bag and now this poor stew. You give them your duffel bag and they're fighting to get this thing inside. And you're just sitting there drink your little Diet Coke. So now you've got to check your two huge bags, fight the lady to get this thing on the inside because it probably should have been checked too. And now we all get off the plane because we're ready to go. Jet said, hey, let's go, and we got to wait for you. You notice how half the room ain't laughing because they're the one. Well, I don't think the pastor needs to be talking about me like that. Well, maybe you need to stop being that way. So now the whole everybody, the whole retinue of people. We now have to wait as this carousel, waiting for your bags, god forbid. 25:24 I've never lost my luggage, but I've been with people who have, and it's not like you can just abandon them in international waters and go figure it out. Meet me where we're going, bro. It's not the Christian thing to do, although your mind tells you it is the appropriate thing to do. But when they are there and they've lost their luggage and now we've got to figure that out before we make our connection and go where we're going they have now affected you, their luggage, and now we gotta figure that out before we make our connection and go where we're going they have now affected you, or, for this story, that's you affecting them. 25:55 Praise God, your baggage can affect other people. Did you know? Again and I say this so many times because I pray that you get it God made you to be a key that opens the prison cell to somebody else's door. But the problem is, when you don't allow God to bring you to that place of healing and wholeness, you cause more people to be locked up than you cause them to be free. I love it. He said oy vey. 26:32 No, listen, I get it. It's not going to be a lot of amens, I'll take an oy vey, I'll take an ouch as well. I've been in that point where somebody's preaching. I'm like you need to back off. It's like, sir, I'm not talking to you. Yes, you are. 26:51 The same is true for us. The more baggage we carry with us, the more it slows us down and our relationships are affected. When we can't handle our own issues and constantly force everyone else to deal with them too, our wounds get transferred to the people close to us, and unless they are vigilant and correctly know how to handle us, the pain becomes contagious and it compounds into heartache. We make decisions that aren't good for us, and it creates defense systems that ensure that we're never hurt in the same way again. We become controlling and rigid, suspicious and skeptical of others' motives. Our insecurities accumulate from an ocean wave into a tsunami of paranoia, fear and distrust, and it's crazy, because the tragic result of unresolved pain is not only the effect it has on the horizontal, but it even affects our vertical. 27:41 Here's a funny part about Tara's story he stops at his pain and you never hear of him again. You never hear about him in conjunction with the promises of God. You never hear about him, period. We don't want that to be our life. I want them singing goofy songs about me because Father Abraham had many sons. Hey, how many sons? All right, as you can tell, vbs is fresh. It's fresh, but I don't want my story to end Not with God. I want a rich, vibrant relationship with him that goes and spans all the generations of my life, that all of my children's children will be connected to him. 28:39 And I want to give you something. This is going to be fun, because this is not just a let me tell you what's wrong with you. That's not that type of message. God calls us and tells us that we have to let go of the traumas of yesterday right, but he gives us the solution on how to get there. The only problem is the solution that he gave us to get there is one that actually annoys you. It's people. I knew it was coming. I knew it. People. I've been trying to get away from people all day. 29:12 Pastor Mo, I'm well aware I saw you time it just so perfectly. One, two, three, all right. Second song let's get it so perfectly. One, two, three, all right. Second song let's get it Right there. Woo, mauricio, almost got me. 29:30 You know the deacons. They smile hard, man, they full of the Holy Ghost. So when you come in, you got to like our deacon, yo, our deacons. They are filled with love and they will come for you. Like, if you're into this isolationist thing where you just want to come and not see anybody and not be provoked and not be loved on and have people inquire about you, you are in the wrong place, literally from the door. Like I remember one time I watched this happen in real time. I'd invited somebody to church and I didn't play the whole thing where I was going to wait at the door like listen, I told you what time to be here, get here and I look back and I watch them get confronted by our volunteers. And when I say confronted, it was in the most loving way possible. But they brought them in and they made them feel loved from the jump, so much so that they testified to me later like yo, I feel like I can make friends here. 30:31 That's one of the most powerful things you can say about a church, and I hear people say that about City Light all the time. But the thing is some people don't realize that people are the breakthrough. Because when you think about, well, how do I get free of my past, hurts from yesteryear, your mind doesn't often think I need more people in my life. Because, because what you're really thinking is I need less people to hurt me less so that I can be free to seek after God, to hurt me less so that I can be free to seek after God. I am saying what you have thought you need more people. You need more people that are filled with the Holy Ghost. Notice I didn't say you need more perfect people because they don't exist. You need more perfect people because they don't exist Because if in some way you actually found a perfect church, you messed it up. 31:33 The minute you walked in, maybe you'll get that. For the third service. God actually intended people to be a source of life, a community of support and fellowship, taking care of one another, bringing healing and freedom. I want to show you something in the scriptures John 11, 43. My worship team, get ready, we're going to wrap up soon Now. 32:01 When he had said these things, he cried with a loud voice Lazarus, come forth. I always love the little distinctions that the scripture makes, because Jesus, understanding what was at stake, made sure that he had to yell Lazarus's name, or it would be full on zombie apocalypse on the earth his name, or it would be full-on zombie apocalypse on the earth. Because he's standing in front of a cemetery with a bunch of dead people and he can't just say come forth, because there's life on the inside of him, this power of life and death, and the power of the tongue, and those that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. And he knows, if he says come forth, the whole place breaks out. So he has to specify whoa, not all of you, not yet not Back back, back, sit down. Okay, lazarus, come forth. All right. And he who had died came out, bound, hand and foot, with grave clothes and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them loose him and let him go. So think about this brilliant picture. So think about this brilliant picture. God does what God does. God does what only God can do. He literally takes that which is dead and resurrects it and brings it to life. 33:12 That is a whole, separate message that'll preach. Is there any dead thing in your life that you think can't live? What are the visions and the dreams that you thought have died? I'm here to tell you God can bring those suckers back to life. What are the relationships that have been killed and broken and hurt? And you think, man, I will be single and lonely forever. No, you won't, if you allow God in. You know, there's a very interesting Bible trivia fact Nobody ever died in the presence of Jesus. Interesting Bible trivia fact Nobody ever died in the presence of Jesus. 33:46 The thieves on the cross were crucified. It's the most excruciating death humans have ever created. It's actually where we get the term excruciating from from the crucifixion. Even those two couldn't die until Jesus left the building. He showed up to funerals and the dead person couldn't die until Jesus left the building. He showed up to funerals and the dead person couldn't stay dead. If there's anything dead in your life, he can. All right, all right, don't get me too excited. I got to get to the point, don't get me too excited. Yes, god does what God does. But take notice of what he said. 34:29 Lazarus comes out. Lazarus is literally wrapped up in burial clothes. He looked like a mummy. There were pieces of strips of linen that had different ointments just to subside some of the stench, and things of that nature, and it's a grave napkin that was tied around his head. So the actual picture of what it looked like is he said Lazarus, come forth, and Lazarus was like oh, wait, no, no, I got to make it right. But it's crazy, crazy, crazy because it points the picture to what I'm talking about today. 35:15 Jesus, doesn't excuse me, brother, you're gonna take all that anointing today. That's you. Oh, no, no, you're gonna take it. I said you going to take it. Jesus doesn't come and go. Okay, let's take off the first strip. Let's take off the second strip. 35:27 Jesus doesn't do that. Jesus does what God can only do and he raises him to life, but then he gives the job to the church. He raises him to life and then he says loose him and let him go. You do it. The church, you do it. Be the sandpaper. You ever notice, you ever hold sandpaper in your hand. 35:53 I know not everybody's a home depot type of guy, I get it, but it's that rough course thing I get. One thing that I've learned about being in ministry is that people are funny. You've learned it too by being a person dealing with other people. People are like sandpaper. They're so rough and grating and annoying. But there's something about that type of roughness that when it gets on you you end up being smooth. You don't realize it because you never think of yourself as anything but perfect, but you're rough too and your roughness brings out the smoothness in other people and God, knowing this, raises this man to life and then he calls him and says church, set him free, I've brought him the life. But now the job of discipleship, the job of accountability, the job of accountability, the job of community, that's yours. You take off the grave clothes. I got to go get lunch. 36:52 The freedom that you're looking for, the freedom that you need God to give you, I guarantee here's the thing I want you to ask God into your life so that he can take and, first off, reveal to you the hurts from yesterday. Right and ask him Lord, heal these hurts from yesterday that you've revealed to my heart, regardless of how severe or minuscule they are. Ask him in and say God, reveal these things to me. And now that you reveal these things to me and how they're impacting me and not allowing me to go forward, I want you to heal it. But here's the funny part I guarantee part of that healing and the solution will be people. This is why we want everybody to connect. This is why we want people to have a place where they can find healing and love and safety and support and support. Don't shun the people factor, because God will bring amazing revelation, freedom and peace to you through other people. 37:57 I'm always fascinated by Paul's shout out to his friend Onesiphorus when he described this man as a breath of fresh air. Let me read this to you. This is 2 Timothy 1.16. It says May the Lord bless Onesiphorus and all his family because he visited me and encouraged me. Often His visits revived me like a breath of fresh air and he was never ashamed of my being in jail. My challenge to you is to let the Lord in, but then my challenge is also to allow him to use you in such a way that you become the key to their prison door, that you be that breath of fresh air, that you not shun the uncomfortability of dealing with imperfect people, because as you keep endeavoring to do this thing called community, the more you keep rubbing shoulders with people, it's actually going to reveal the parts that are broken and hurt. Help me, luke. 39:09 So I'm talking about rubbing shoulders, right? This is why God brings accountability. This is why he wants community, because it brings out the things that we don't think we need, because fellowship is this we're brothers, we're singing and we're no, I'm just kidding, but we're rubbing shoulders. But here's the thing when we rub shoulders, often this is what it looks like Ah man, you rubbed too hard, bro, stop. Ah man, you rub too hard, bro, stop. 39:43 Now that looks like a very inordinate reaction to a simple brushing of shoulders. Because what if I'm wounded underneath my clothes and he doesn't know? So sometimes we're wounded and we don't even realize it, but it gets exposed because we rub shoulders. And then, ah, and now? If he's a true friend, if he's a true lover of Christ who's looking for not just his benefit but my benefit, he's going to be like what do you got going on under there, bro, because that was a little bit too like you screaming at me now, like that was a bit too much of a reaction for something really little that we could have forgave and moved past and went and got some chicken. So let me know, and that's the thing, and thank you, bro. That's the thing about accountability Like it exposes the hurts, it exposes the parts where Now these are the things that make you get real honest and brutal with God. 40:45 So, god, I had some interactions this week and they seem to look like a lot of the interactions that I've had in the past in my life, where, for some reason, when I get close to people, I kind of turn into a rageaholic and I don't really treat people the right way. So I'm just wondering is there something that this is connected to in my past that maybe you want to highlight to me, because I seem to kind of keep pushing people away and I know that you've called me to community and life. So, uh, you got anything. That's the type of honesty that you need to come to God with. Why am I such a jerk? Why is it that after every interaction, people keep doing this. What does that face mean? Jesus Is something wrong with them. Okay, okay, you don't have to answer. I know you brought the person with you. Just look down. No, don't look down. Don't look down. Look at me. 42:06 I gained a new level of appreciation for that type of friendship because it exposed me to the things that I wouldn't honestly admit about myself. Yo, getting married was dope, and not just because you get a license to have sex. You hear that clap. There's a newly married person in the back. Yeah, it was dope. All right, slow down. 42:30 But the the, the more powerful part about marriage I have somebody to call me out on the bs. I have somebody that wakes up with me every day and sees me and knows me when I'm in a funk and in an attitude for no reason going you good. Why? Because you're being a jerk. Oh, okay, see, real friends will tell you the truth about yourself and go. Hey, you seem to be overreacting to things that are very minimal and not deserving of this reaction. Maybe we need to take a look at that. Let's have a talk, let's pray together, let's fast together. Let's get some freedom on this thing. That's what God is calling you to. Oh, hallelujah, hallelujah. 43:37 If you want to find freedom from the wounds of the past, the first place to begin is by identifying the issues, the hurts, the past baggages that are weighing you down. Invite him in to heal these areas and don't be surprised when he uses people to do it. Don't limit yourself in how you see yourself. Don't see yourself according to the things that you've been through and experienced. See yourself according to what God says about you Amen. 44:19 It is never easy to be honest about your mistakes, your secrets, your flaws or your sinful behaviors, but in order to receive God's grace, peace and joy, you have to let go of your fear, your shame and anger. In the Bible, we know how King David knew he had disobeyed God, but couldn't come to terms with the fact that he had committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah killed to cover up the sin. Only after the prophet Nathan rebuked him did the king confess before God and repent of his sins. Now, one of the things that you're going to have to do I'm going to read you a scripture, but then I'm going to give you a disclaimer that goes with that, and we're going to close for the day. James 5, 16 says this confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. We confess our sins not only to God, but also to each other. This system provides spiritual support as we pray for each other and help each other, which facilitates healing. Notice the big picture here. We go to God for forgiveness, but we come to the church for healing. But this is the disclaimer. 45:37 This ain't for everybody. What do I mean when it says confess your sins to everybody? These are to the mature individuals in which you confide and trust. Don't just be walking up to my first time guest talking about yo, you remember I done killed these three people before in the Bronx. You know what I'm saying. No, no, the people that you confide in as leadership, the people that you confide in To call actual friends, you confess to those people that, the people who do life with you. Don't just be calling up Random people talking about. Yeah, you know I used to smack my wife and everything, but we good, now she punched me back. So I learned we welcome you to enter community, but to be wise, to let the lord use the people of God to bring healing to your life, be open and honest and allow him in. Amen. 46:51 I'm going to read you this last psalm and then the sweet psalmist is going to play us some sweet psalmry. In Psalm 51, david expresses the cries of his heart after recognizing the depth of his transgression. As we read through this passage, think about the one issue or the one person, or the one wound or the struggle that comes to mind. Make David's words the prayer of your heart as you seek forgiveness, as you seek to accept more of the grace of God, as you seek to receive a fresh start in the freedom that God is giving you. Amen, have mercy upon me. 47:30 Everybody. Close your eyes and rock with me. Have mercy upon me, o God, according to your loving kindness, according to the multitude of your tender mercies. Blot out my transgressions, wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin, for I acknowledge my transgressions and my sin is my iniquity. And cleanse me from my sin, for I acknowledge my transgressions and my sin is always before me against you. You only have I sinned and done this evil in your sight, that you may be found just when you speak and blameless when you judge. 47:54 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin. My mother conceived me. Behold, you desire truth in the inward parts and in the hidden part. You will make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean. Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness that the bones that you have broken may rejoice. 48:18 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, o God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me by your generous spirit that I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will be converted to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, o God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips and my mouth shall show forth your praise as we sing this song. Reflect on God and let him show you the areas that need healing. Be blessed church Again. We're not taking off for the summer. We're going higher and deeper into God, and part of that includes getting free. 49:20 - Speaker 2 This is the CityLight Church podcast. If you've missed any part of today's message or if you would like to find out more about Pastor Boyan Jancic and CityLight Church, visit us at citylightnyc.com. That's citylightnyc.com. Feel free to visit us online or in person anytime. We would love to connect with you. We pray that you have been encouraged today, that you have been reminded how much God loves you and that you are surrounded by grace. Thank you for listening. Make sure that you subscribe to CityLight Church Podcast wherever you find your favorite podcasts worldwide.