Embracing Our Spiritual Journey Together: The Transformative Power of Christian Community and Connection

0:00 And at just the perfect and right time he snatched you from the grip of hell and he gave you eternal life. But I love this Jesus. He could have said I've done this thing, that only God can do, this impossible work. And he could have said let me take the napkin off your face and let me cut you out of these grave clothes. But he doesn't do that. Jesus does what only God can do and he raises him to life. Welcome to the City Light Church podcast. Thanks for joining us today as we look into God's Word and discover the hope and truth that he has for us. If you want to connect with City Light Church, feel free to visit us at CityLightNYCcom.

0:41 That's CityLightNYCcom. Pastor Boyan Jansik and his team believe that the power of the Holy Spirit is already working in our hearts and minds. As you listen to today's teaching, remember that you are deeply loved by God, that you are surrounded by His grace and that he has a real hope and a future for you. God is so good. I want to talk today about life groups. I know we looked at the video earlier. It looked real good. The whole bunch of beautiful people in there.

1:21 See, only she gets that. I was in the video. That's why I said that the people's is beautiful, praise God. But no, there's something super powerful about life groups. And if you don't know what life groups are, let me show you from the scriptures what they are. So let's go to Acts 2, we're gonna read verse 46 and 47. So, continuing daily with one accord in the temple and breaking bread from house to house. They ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.

2:03 This is life groups. They met in an official capacity in the temple on the Sabbath. Like what we're doing right now, we are in the church. I won't say in the temple, because you are the temple, amen. So they met in the church in an official capacity together. But I love what it says at the end in verse 19. People were getting saved daily. Well, how could they be getting saved daily if they only met in the temple on one day it was what was happening every other day as they met from house to house and they broke bread. See, this Christian thing that we do, this way of life, it's not meant to be relegated to this thing that you do just on Sunday.

2:46 It's meant to be your life. It's meant to encapsulate all that you are, all of your relationships. It's meant to be a Monday through Sunday thing. So here on Sunday you come and the pastor and the preacher, they give you a word of encouragement and strengthen you and give you an exhortation to point you in the right direction. But then you need to follow that up with actual practice. So on a Sunday morning you don't actually do the ministering. I do, pastor Bo does, pastor James does. But in life groups you get to put to practice those Christian principles.

3:26 You get to lay hands on people, you get to prophesy, you get to preach, you get prayer, you receive and give prayer. How powerful is that? But the thing is we don't often take advantage of that because we have a lot of Sunday Christians. Oh, he got heavy fast. What happened? No, I do believe that the Lord is calling us out of that place of nominal Christianity where we checked our attendance card and said I came because this is what happens. We're at a point in our lives where we go to church on the high holy days Mother's Day, easter and Christmas and then we graduate from there and we go.

4:12 You know what I'm getting serious about? God? I'm gonna honor the King and I'm gonna go every Sunday and I'm gonna check my attendance card and they're gonna know I'm there because I'm gonna lift my hand and the Lord is saying I want more because and here's the reason why it's not just so that you can say that you've done something. God actually wants to give you something. As with all things, even as we were just collecting the offering just now, that's not really about you getting God money, that's about him getting you money. Did you catch that? Because when you sow, then you reap a harvest that, okay, they get it, they get it, they get it.

4:54 So the reason we're talking about life groups today is life groups are the lifeblood of our church and I know it might seem like a misnomer. I'm the community pastor, so life groups are very much my heart. But we say it's the lifeblood of our church and I'm not the only one that says that is because, again, it's the connection, it's where community happens. We have this thing called fellowship and sometimes people call the services well, I'm gonna go fellowship. Some of the old time heads in Christianity call it that. It's not really fellowship. When you come on a Sunday morning, the only thing that you're fellowshiping with is the back of somebody's neck, and the real interaction that happens in Christianity is not meant to be with the back of somebody's neck.

5:39 Oh, nobody's gonna say amen to the obvious. Okay, I love life groups because it teaches people to be great friends, friends that are like-minded, friends that are reliable friends, that are able to carry each other in discipleship. You know, life groups are where one another happens. You know, in the scriptures, the Bible says 59 separate times that we are to one another, each other, you might say one another. And what's that? Well, the Bible says that we should love one another. The Bible says that we should pray for one another. The Bible says that we should greet one another, that we should strengthen one another, that we should bear with one another. The one anothering happens in the context of life group.

6:21 So, if you haven't figured it out, today, this is a big sermon inviting you to life groups, I'm inviting you to community. I'm inviting you out of nominal Christianity into a place called accountability. You know, cs Lewis once said this about friendship. He's a famous Christian writer. He said friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another what you two? I thought that no one but myself.

7:03 So there's this dynamic where we get to connect with people and grow and bear fruit. Aka, you can't get where you wanna go by yourself. People don't really like hearing that, because there's a level of humility and dependence that is necessary that we don't really like. Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should be well-rounded and supportive. We need godly friendships in our lives. No one person can encompass all that we need. Relationally, though, how about this?

7:45 Even your spouse for those of us privileged to be married even your spouse can't connect all of the dots of what you need relationally. Monica's, like you don't know my husband boo, she in the second row, like my man, is my best friend. Amen, amen, ah, amen, amen. But I've learned that sometimes you need more than just romantic relationship. You know why you need platonic, same gender friendship? Because there's not a threat of you doing to get All the married people immediately got what I was saying See, the married folk understand that.

8:29 You know what I'm gonna keep this hair relationship nice and tight and good. Because, yeah well, praise God, praise God, praise God. There's something about the platonic friendship that you need to be able to tell each other the truth and garner things that you can't get from that romantic relationship. It actually causes you to become a better person because, if you didn't know, it's easy to call yourself anything in isolation. I am amazing and the minute I get around other people they will go nah, you all right.

9:09 There's something about the accountability and the honesty of community that will bring out the truth Because, again, it's easy to say whatever it is that you wanna say in isolation, with nobody there to fact check to you, aka keyboard fingers on the internet. Somebody talk to me? Oh, you're not gonna talk to me about it. All right, all you people in the chat, you better put a fire emoji. Hope I'm not talking about you, if you look at it and again this is a real thing. You need a plethora of relationships in your life and I know this because even when I look at God, god in and of himself is relationship.

9:57 Now, I don't know some of you have maybe heard this story before, but our city kids program that we have downstairs it is thebombcom. It is children's church for real. They don't sell a junior holy spirit down there, they are having church the same way we're having church. They're learning about the word of God. Sometimes the stuff in my door that hits me with I'm like I didn't teach you that where you got that from. She was like you know, I'll be going to church on Sunday. Right, I'm like. But it's funny because I've heard this said to children before and it grinds my gears in such a way where you'll have a little kid going hey, why did God create humans? And then you'll get some well-meaning Sunday school children's church teacher who will lie out the back of their mouth and say something that was born in the pit of hell.

10:47 Well, god created humans because he didn't want to be lonely. That's a lie. God has never been lonely. God is relationship. He is the father, the son and the holy spirit. Let me show you from the scripture, so you don't just think I'm just talking. First, john 5.7 says for there are three that bear record in heaven the father, the word and the holy ghost. And these three are one. So again, there is no one person that can encompass all that we need relationally. We have friends of the same gender to help us learn how to actually love without motive or physical intimacy.

11:29 We need to learn how to be actual friends to each other when it comes to community and kingdom. Amen, amen. Proverbs 18.24 says a man that has friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. We need to learn how to be willing to let other people's star shine. You can't do that in isolation. We need to be willing to be poured into as we pour out into others. There's a wonderful given taken friendship that displays God's love relationally.

12:14 And one of the things I'm just gonna say flatly you've gone as far as you can go by yourself. God is going to build you up through your connections and not isolation. You have to be able to connect and flow with people to take it to the next level. You have to trust people and not just any people. You have to trust the right people with your vision. You have to get it out of your hands or it won't multiply. We multiply through connections. I'll give you a story. So I want to say it must have been somewhere in 2012.

12:58 We, just because we had our services on Friday nights in the East Village, shout out to all my old schoolers who would come to hey, sheika, our Friday services were fun. We call them happy hour because our church was located in the East Village. And if you didn't know, the East Village is a very fun, weird place. Per capita, it has the most bars per square foot than any other place on earth. So just imagine we were getting quite a clientele of people coming in and getting saved and having their lives transformed on a weekly basis.

13:39 So I remember after one Friday night, Pastor Bo and I were just conversing and we walked to his car and we got in the car and it was close to Thanksgiving and I remember I was sitting in his car and I was weeping and I remember he was trying to encourage me because there was this thing that I couldn't break past. I was trying to get into my destiny and I didn't know how. I knew I was called to lead and minister and preach and teach and serve and all of these things. But I had no opportunity.

14:20 I was working full time at the YMCA counseling center and I remember just like just feeling so stuck because if you haven't known this feeling when you have a call of God on the inside of you, this is the best thing that I can akin it to it felt like a tree was growing on the inside of me Because you know, if you look at a tree it's imperceptible, you can't really gauge it from one day to the next and go you're bigger. You can't do that. But if you would put a tree right up against a piece of glass, eventually the glass would have to give way and break because of the growth, like we see this literally on the streets, where the roots of a tree can unearth concrete.

15:03 So I felt like this thing was growing on the inside of me, but it hadn't broken through yet. So again I'm talking with my pastor like hey, man, how do I get to the next level? And it was funny because he was trying to encourage me. He says listen, when it comes to doing all that you can do, I can say with clarity and honesty you are doing everything that you're supposed to do. I know you. You are praying, you are fasting, you are serving, you are looking for every opportunity to pour yourself out for the sake of Jesus. So I don't know, bruh. So again I'm just crying because I'm just like God, I just want your will.

15:43 And then he said something to me that was powerful. He goes when you've done everything that you know to do in order to reach your destiny but still feel stagnant. It could be that there are destiny partners connected to your destiny. And I said what? Because nobody really wants to hear that when you want to just go where you want to go, you want to go by yourself. And, in essence, what he was telling me is there are some people in your life that you haven't connected with yet that might be the key that opens the prison door. Oh, y'all didn't hear me. Sometimes you are the key that opens somebody else's prison door.

16:25 So I'm like man God, what does that mean? And he says, listen, it doesn't have to be that it's a romantic relationship. It could just be a relationship. Maybe there's somebody in your life the Lord wants to put you together and both of you will get together and start an amazing business that will change the world. We don't know. Well, maybe it could be romantic. Hey, now Listen. Shortly thereafter I met my wife. She started out as a friend that I got to know at LifeGroup Plug. I got to know her at LifeGroup and she became my girlfriend at LifeGroup and from there she became my wife. No, you could clap a little bit better, for my wife, tiffany, is at home and she's actually driving here right now.

17:11 She is pregnant with our third child. She is due March 12th. So, aka, she is ready to go. She will be here shortly to receive all of your praise. But it's funny that I needed to connect with my wife and it set me on such a trajectory because I was working at that job and I get married to my wife and six months into my marriage I get laid off. I had never been without a job since the age of 14 and I find myself all of a sudden without work at the most important time when I need work to be a provider and a husband. It was all like, oh, my God, jesus. But it's so funny that the trajectory of what happened through connecting with her, I watched as the Lord connected me with my wife, that I ended up in my dream job and both of our lives just exponentially kept growing from there forward.

18:07 You cannot get where you want to get by yourself, because you, my friend, are a member of the body of Christ. I don't know about you, but my pinky does not get up and walk away and do its own thing without me. When my pinky wants ice cream, we want ice cream. It don't be me, y'all, it be the pinky. I still didn't hear no amen to that. But all right. Matthew 18, 19 and 20 says this again. I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven, for where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them.

18:55 I'll give you another one for free. Leviticus 26, 8 says five of you shall chase a hundred and a hundred of you shall put 10,000 to flight man. That is some crazy kingdom, exponential math. That doesn't make sense. But I love it and it just reaffirms further the point that I'm making that God means for you to get where you're going by getting with his people. So if we can establish that life groups are the way, communities the way, getting with the people is the way, we have to ask the $10 million question and just to be clear, even if you call out the answer, I will not give you $10 million.

19:43 People from the first service, just wait and like. So the $10 million question is this if we know that there is so much power in accountability and community and one another, why don't we do it? Why is it that when life group semester opens up, as it opened up last week, that every group has to be labeled full for this week because it is at capacity and cannot take anymore. You want to know why? I'll tell you. Why I'll tell you because it's actually the title of this sermon.

20:24 The answer is that help sometimes hurts. See, I was trying to be nice, I was giving the media team a chance to throw it on there like the sermon title, but technically I guess we don't need it. Help sometimes Somebody feel me. Help sometimes hurts. You want to know how I know that this is true.

21:05 It's February. Where are my athletic gym goers at? Oh, don't you. Hey, you cross fit people. Now You've been showing off that body. Don't get shy. Now Raise your hand, brother, all right. Now here's the thing. It's mid-February, right, a lot of the New Year's resolutions are starting to taper off. We had some people start and they were on fire. I'm going to go, I'm going to bear this fruit, I'm going to go Work the thing out. Everybody working out because they want to be a snack.

21:47 Talk them out. But you know why. You only get a few people who last off, like my brother in the second row. Come here, oost, just come here, brother. Yeah, yeah, come on. See, oost is a former professional bodybuilder. You can't see it under here, not a lot. He married. So just keep yourselves. Keep yourselves. I'm just giving you the warning, but he lives a lifestyle of exercise and working out. He's a trainer, matter of fact.

22:27 I'm just putting your face out so people can come as you are. Nervous. No, you good, you got more applause than me, bro. Give the praise to Jesus people. So the reason that I pointed them out is because he lives a lifestyle of that. It's not based on resolution, where every January he's going to get hyped for maybe six weeks and then taper off. You want to know why most people are not like him? Because help sometimes hurts. See the resistance that we get when we go to the gym. We know the benefits. We know that we end up looking like a snack tasty Boom, boom, boom.

23:16 We know that. But what's in between that point and the starting point is hurt Is resistance is work, and we don't like that. We like cookies. Let the church say amen. But I've learned that in order to take that step, to get to it, you have to make yourself a little bit uncomfortable and do what you've never done to get the results that you've never had. Help sometimes hurts.

23:58 The only way for you to reach purpose is through community. It is impossible to do it by yourself. Any person who is doing it by themselves is using sources that God did not approve. If you're doing it by yourself, you're using illegal methods, whether that's being a workaholic, whether that's using substances. If you're using anything but the body of Christ to get the growth that you need. You are out of bounds, sir. You are out of bounds, ma'am. Are you abusing people and things? Well, you know, by going to say amen, it's all right, it hurts, and we don't like to do it because it involves conversations that hurt.

24:41 Because we're talking about community. We're talking about people getting together, like-minded people who know God and will help you and give you protection. The Bible says that there is safety in a multitude of counselors. So why is it that we often find that when we go through circumstances, we isolate ourselves? Because we don't want nobody saying nothing to us. If you've ever been in a relationship that had a bunch of red flags and you didn't want any of your friends saying anything to you, how much were you and your friends talking at that particular time? No, ah, because we instinctively and we know, we know when, man, I think that this is wrong, but there's nobody here to tell me, so I'm just going to keep going we know that if we get around the right people who love us, they will go.

25:32 Hey, hey, hey, can we talk? But we avoid those types of hurts. We avoid those type of conversations, despite the fact that they help, and I'm inviting you to a place where you welcome the hurt because it will help. Another reason that we don't endeavor to take the help that hurts is because the devil's giving us anesthesia. He's given us this thing that numbs the hurt here.

26:15 Take some sugar water. You don't need to deal with these people. Instead of actually endeavoring to go to that place where we can speak the truth and love and be real with each other, the enemy says take a dose of this, because it hurts to lie, that you won't face the consequences of community and accountability, because the enemy has you in this place where you know how to play the game, because you want God but you don't technically want the method that he uses to bring growth, which is the people. So you've mastered the art of coming late and leaving early.

26:56 Oh, we're not talking to nobody yet. How about this? I know some of y'all. This is you. On a Sunday morning, you at 44th and Broadway and you like this. It almost looks like you're playing double dutch. I go all right. I got to time it right. Got to time it right Because I don't want to get caught If DK Mauricio catches me at the door. I know he's going to pray for me, so we got to avoid that. Okay, oh, the ushers look like they smiling today. All right, let me give it to them. Let me get this, let me get this. No, no, that's the first song I can hear. It, that's that One, two, three Go, they rush in and they immediately get into a posture of deep worship.

27:45 Because you know, when somebody is deep worship, you don't want to say hello, you just, oh, get it girl. Hey, yes, god, you don't want to mess with that. So people have mastered the art. They look around, they look around. All right, I'm coming quick, I'm coming quick. Oh God, he's coming close. Yes, oh, jesus, jesus, jesus. And we've mastered the art. Because then Pastor Bo calls up the worship team and you're like, oh, oh, I got too involved.

28:26 I got too involved. I was hearing the word of God and they thought the ministry team is about to be called up. I still got to give my offering. Wait, there's a box at the door. And then you run and somebody hey, where are you going? No, no, no, I'm just going to the bathroom. I'm just going to the bathroom. You might say Pastor Mo, where are you going? I'm trying to get you to understand that hurt sometimes helps and you don't have to avoid the conversations and the people. You just keep saying that you want God and you don't want the people because of the things that you've experienced from other people in your life.

29:11 But God is trying to tell you I'm only going to grow you through the same people that you're avoiding. So we have to welcome the accountability that comes with community, because he's not using another method. He's proven his method. His method is his church. Imperfect as we are and I do get that part it's easy to interact with God when God is perfect, but you're telling me that I have to. I've got to be vulnerable with these jokers, don't worry.

29:54 One finger pointing you for it, me. But yeah, he's saying this is my method. I want to use imperfect people to make each other perfect through my grace and my spirit. Did you know that something as small as a splinter, if unchecked, can lead to gangrene? You could literally lose your leg off of a piece of toothpick.

30:39 It wasn't sharp enough to cut your leg off. It initially wasn't painful enough to cause your leg to be cut off, but because it was untreated and unaddressed for too long, it grew into something that was beyond your control, and the only way to save what is left is to cut off that which has been infected. When God is saying I got these things called tweezers, that is, the people of God that are getting your business See, that's the thing. People are acting like as if I'm talking about this from a lofty center. No, no, I'm talking about the practical people getting in your business, people loving on you, people asking you difficult questions like how are you?

31:24 In today's culture, we don't like that, because a lot of people mean for hello and how are you? To be breezed by questions hey, how are you doing? How are you doing? No, no, no, I asked you first. When I ask people, I mean it how are you? Sometimes people ask me how I'm doing and I literally stop and I go, and then I begin to tell them and, much to their shock, they're like oh, you're actually sharing. And then I tell them I thought you asked me how I was doing, so I was venturing to be vulnerable enough to tell you where I was, so that maybe you would pray with me, and then maybe I could pray with you and maybe we would do this thing called life together.

32:14 No concept in the house of God, where we're all supposed to be a family. Oh, church, if you could see the faces that are coming back to me today. I'm not scared of y'all, though. Six, one, 300 pounds. God gave me grace, but he also gave me physique too. Plus, I got ooh, don't, don't forget, I called him up for a reason, hallelujah. So we got to talk about things to stay healthy, amen. We got to endeavor to allow God in, to be the help that we can only get from his people.

32:58 Ephesians 4, 15 and 16 says but speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him. Who is the head, christ, from whom the whole body joined and knit together. So what every joint supplies, according to the effect of working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. It's a very long-winded, theological way of saying talk to each other and I'll use you to help each other. So again, the enemy stops you from being in places that have the good conversations that hurt.

33:39 Oh so good. My analogy of people running in and out of the church. That's what that is. It's the enemy giving you the anesthesia that says you don't need to be hurt, you don't need to feel. You need to feel. I do understand what church hurt is. I do understand that people in your life have abused your vulnerability, but that is not a reason to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Unfortunately, you still have to deal with God's people because that is the method that he designed to bring breakthrough and deliverance to you. If there was another way, I would give it to you, but there is no lofty monastic lifestyle where you go into a mountain by yourself and reach seven levels of nirvana and meet Jesus, because every time you go to that mountain by about week three, jesus is going to be like.

34:36 So how long are you planning on staying bro? You didn't eat all the food in the fridge. I'm just wondering when are you going to go out and do something with what I've given you? We have to get honest. I think there's also this other side of it where we want these weird quick fixes. So we spoke about the person who comes late, leaves early, but then there's also another person who comes to the front for ministry time and this is what it looks like. Fix me, are you done?

35:22 And that's not how this works either, because I need you to understand. There's no laying on of the hands and pouring of the anointing oil that's going to remove the pride in your life. It's not going to seep in and by the time you get home the pride has dried up. No, what's going to happen is the accountability of walking with each other day by day, so that when you are acting prideful, I check you and go hey, don't be like that, that's not godly and it's not like I'm standing above you because you can check me too and go. You know, you said the right thing, but you could have said it a little bit better. Oh, my bad, we're learning. That's how relationship works, that's how true friendship works, where you take a piece of truth and you insert it into the relationship along with love, so that you can get where you both need to go.

36:23 Oh man, let me just read this thing the absence of honesty will produce an abundance of pain, not just hurt. For the church to legitimately help you and the many issues that we all have, it's not just going to be through the laying on of hands. It's going to be and I'm going to say this, and for certain church people with the history in church it's going to sound like a cuss word.

37:07 Now I didn't say curse, I said cuss. It's a cuss word. I'm going to tell you down south people know what I'm talking about. Down south people, somebody will tell you something real sweet and go, bless your heart. That's a cuss. They wasn't being nice. You thought it was nice because you're not from down there. It was cussing you out. So we're talking about a cuss word right now. And really the Bible says that we should be not just hearers of the word and this is the cuss word but doers, doers. But we are Grace Church. It's not about do, do, do, because if you do do, your life will be do, do. Yes, I understand Grace through faith, amen. We receive our salvation with no input from us at all other than to believe and declare that Jesus Christ is Lord.

37:51 But how many of you know? The Bible says that you should work out your own salvation with trembling and fear. So there is still a part, and hear me when I'm saying this there's a part for you to play. But it's not like salvation is contingent upon your part. The baby didn't like that part. She didn't like that part. But there is this place where you have to walk this thing out that he's given you, where you have to do more than just come to the front and wait for the fix me to come. How about you've got to open your mouth and acknowledge, like you know, what I'm an angry person, and when I'm angry, nobody can say nothing to me.

38:39 And when people back me into a corner, I start to lie. And I'm really good that when I start lying, I start manipulating people. Like, yeah, you got to open up because the deliverance that you're looking for is not going to come until you actually come clean to God and, by proxy, his people. That's not for everybody. You're going to be calling everybody up. Like you know, I be cheating on my taxes all the time. I don't need to know that between you and the IRS, bro, but the people in relationship with you, the true friends, the deep one on ones, and you let them know, like yo, I have been cheating on my taxes and if they catch me I'm going to jail.

39:21 Them's is the people where you like, I'll make sure your kids is safe because I'm not going to jail for you, if that's what you mean, how about this? Just so that you can get, so that you won't be discouraged in hearing this message the negative things that the enemy has placed in your life and that have grown and festered into ugly behavior. The opposite side of that is the goal that God actually put there first. So if you're a really good liar, god gave you the gift of storytelling, but it's been perverted by sin in the world.

40:03 When you're really good at manipulating people and getting your own way callously, it's because you're actually a leader that God wants to motivate people towards things. Think about it. You have the ability to coerce people into a direction, but you've selfishly been using it for your own means, when really God means for you to maneuver and guide and exhort people and push them in the right direction, leading them towards that which is holy, righteous and true. There's gold on the inside of you, and God's people are meant to bring that thing to the surface, but they can't if you don't give them the opportunity to actually see what's under the hood.

40:45 Oh, he's spitting bars this Sunday morning. So again, I need you to hear the word and not be offended, and actually become doers of the word Hallelujah. So everything that you use to destroy people originally was a gift from God to free them. You are the key that opens the prison door to other people's cells. It's funny because I feel like for many of us in the room, if we change just one thing about ourselves, we'd be great.

41:27 She believes it too. Don't even worry about it. It's like it's that one thing, like nobody wants to work with you, can't, nobody say nothing to you. Yeah, that's true. You've got to acknowledge these things. You've got to open up and be honest and allow God into good. Like have you ever repented without actually repenting? Listen, I have a wife, so I know what it is to apologize without saying nothing. I used to be the world's worst apologizer. I would go to my wife and be like yo, I'm so sorry, you feel like that.

42:13 I would literally just watch my wife just like. It's like so you're not going to take accountability for none of it. Well, I mean, these are your feelings. I learned, I learned I'm a good husband. I swear I learned, I learned. But there is this place where you have to acknowledge yourself before his people and before him and ask him to do the work in you. And the only hilarious part for me is, every time I have asked God to make me better. He's put me in a situation where I've had to rely on other people to do it.

42:55 I said God, I need you to help me in my finances. He sent me people that knew stuff about finance. I was like God. I was hoping for like a download. I didn't want to have to sit and make a budget with this person. See, that's how it looks in the practical. You ask God for something. God goes oh, I know somebody that could help you with that. Here's a connection. But we want the straight. Just mean you, god. When God is like the vertical is fine, it's the horizontal I'm trying to get you to. It's a cross, by the way. All right, so there are five different relationships that you are going to find in life group.

43:39 That is going to bless, strengthen and edify you. And, yes, this entire message is a plug that you would sign up for. Life groups gain community. Oh, you didn't realize that, like, this is the plug, this is the lore that you would take that paper that was on your chair, fill it out for life group seven. I mean life groups, just life group seven. Discipleship 101 with Pastor Moe, wednesdays at 6.45. I'm just saying Praise God. It's too out there, too pluggy. All right, just enough. Just enough. All right, worship team, you can come up because I'm going to end with these five different relationships that you are clearly going to find that are going to bless you and help you. Yes, it might hurt a little bit, because help sometimes hurts, but it is going to be so good for you, amen.

44:28 Okay, first one. This is the Nathan relationship. Nathan to David was a corrector. Specifically, you can find their story in 2 Samuel 12. I won't read through the whole thing now, but when Nathan killed somebody to hide the fact that he had committed adultery with somebody's wife, remember, as a king in the Old Testament, he had the ability to have anyone killed on command, including the prophet, but he had given Nathan the authority to speak into his life because he submitted to the hierarchy of God.

45:14 Oh, you're not hearing me. Okay, how about this? You know, when you come to a church and doesn't have to be city light when you come to a church, if you don't submit to the hierarchy of the kingdom and the system that God has put in place, the person who leads that church, pastor Bo, doesn't become your pastor. He becomes your preacher. When you really want him to be your pastor. You will submit to the authority that God has given him over you. Oh wait, amen's at church. Just because he ain't Guatemala, don't change nothing.

45:59 So you have to give authority to people to speak into your life, amen, okay, number two Jethro. Jethro is the guider. Jethro is the white haired mentor in your life. They realign you by giving you good counsel. Very quickly, we're going to read through Exodus 18, verses 13 and 19. And so it was on the next day that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood before Moses from morning until evening. So when Moses' father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said what is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?

46:41 And Moses said to his father-in-law because the people come to me to inquire of God when they have a difficulty. They come to me and I judge between one and another and I make known the statutes of God and his laws. So Moses' father-in-law said to him the thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out, for this thing is too much for you. You are not able to perform it by yourself. Listen now to my voice. I will give you counsel and God will be with you. Stand before God for the people so that you may bring the difficulties to God. And basically, he gives him a system of delegation and says that there are different leaders that you're going to position underneath you.

47:23 So a white haired mentor will realign you with good counsel Because, remember, the best experience that you can learn from is the experience that is not your own. I don't want to fall into the pit, get bloodied and bruised to then tell you about it. I want to go to the person who fell into the pit and they can tell me how. Not to Funny story I was doing premarital counseling with this couple and I asked him. I said you know, where are the white haired mentors in your life that have experienced these things, that can talk to you guys? And the person looks perplexed. It's like what do you mean?

48:03 It's you. I said the devil is a liar. I had to go home and reflect and look in the mirror and I was like oh my, I have become that with you. Whoa, I wasn't ready for that. It came too fast. It came too fast. But if there was ever a day where I was tempted to get the just for men, that was the day. But he was like you know, you are my white haired mentor and I was just like, wow, I'm like one year older than you know. The second one is Barnabas.

48:43 You need a Barnabas type situation in your life. So Barnabas is an encourager. Did you know that Barnabas's name? You can find him in the book of Acts. His name is not actually Barnabas, his name is Joseph. The apostles renamed him Barnabas, which is encourager because of the grace and the gifting that was on his life. And some of you might be thinking to yourself who is Barnabas? Where have I heard that name before? Well, here's the thing. Have you ever heard of the apostle Paul? Let me be clear Without Barnabas, there is no apostle Paul, because apostle Paul's ministry had zero followers on Facebook. Paul was a terrorist by the name of Saul and when he got saved he thought it was all nice and he tried to come to the cookout and they said we're leaving.

49:34 He sat down and everybody got up until this man, this encourager, took him aside and said you walk with me, and Barnabas introduced him to the entire community. He went on mission trips with him and eventually Saul became Paul, wrote over one third of the New Testament that we call our Bible today. Do you have people in your life that will give you an encouragement behind the scenes? So, first service, I made a very apt joke. I said you know, pastors are very unique individuals because not only do they have to face their own things, but they need to face the things that you're facing, because the devil very much is against you.

50:23 But the scripture is very clear that if you strike the shepherd, the flock will scatter. So sometimes some of the things that you're going through, it actually hits leadership as well as you, because the thought is, if I can knock off the leadership that gives them the encouragement to keep going forward, then they'll have nothing to do and then they'll just fall aside themselves. But little did he know that at City Light we're raising up a team of ministers and powerful Christians that know the Lord for themselves. Praise the Lord. But it had me thinking about Pastor Bo and the rest of the leadership team, because his wife, emily was sitting here and I was like first lady. She left, though, so it doesn't really work anymore. But the thing is. I imagine that when he's going through all the stuff that he's going through, it's the silent encouragement.

51:08 And I know this to be true because my wife ministers to you guys more than you know, because she ministers to me. So when I'm able to stand and give you encouragement and give you wisdom and help you to see the right way, just know that I've received encouragement that you don't know about. She has been a Barnabas to me. Shout out, bo, I see you. So there's something about being the Barnabas. You get that at Life Group. Think about this. Everybody always wants to stand on the stage with the mic and do the thing. How about when you get to heaven? People are going to come up to you and go thank you so much and you're going to be like, for what? And then they'll tell you about all the different people that grew to be amazing in God and did so many things.

51:51 And they got that way because you encourage them with a word of wisdom, with a word of life. Amen, come on. I'm going to get you guys out of here because I know the Super Bowl parties are waiting. All right. Next one, timothy, you need a protege. You need somebody to pour into. Philippians 2, 19 and 22 says, but I trust in the Lord to send Timothy to you shortly. That I also may be encouraged when I know your state, for I have no one like-minded who will sincerely care for your state, for all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus, but you know his proven character that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel.

52:35 I'll also give you Luke 638. Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be put into your bosom, for with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you. What does all of that mean? It means that you can't be the Dead Sea. What the Dead Sea? Well, here's the thing. What makes the Dead Sea different from a river? The Dead Sea does not support life and agriculture because it only has an inlet and it doesn't have an outlet. So it's getting all of this ocean water in and all of the salt levels and the salinity levels are extremely high that you could just go in and just lay down and float without anything, but it's dead and it doesn't support life because there's no outlet.

53:22 A river is different because it takes things in and then it pushes things out and there's movement. And, in the same way, you need a protégé and you might think to yourself well, I'm not the great minister, I can't do it. Here's the thing you are better today than you were yesterday and there are some people that are where you were yesterday and you can help them with your experience because you survived. You don't have to be a teacher, you just have to have survived. So you need someone to pour into. Even if somebody's pouring into you, don't just be a selfish, venous fly trap. Christian. Feed me she more. No, like. You need to get fed and then you need to feed, you need to water, you need to plant and bless other people.

54:08 Amen, all right, this is the last one. You need a Jonathan. You need a Jonathan. You need a true friend and, admittedly, you're not going to have many of these. You're going to have many friends, but a true friend is different. How can I put it? I feel like, have you ever tried to save a cat out of danger, especially a cat that you didn't know? God bless you. Hold my microphone, lynn. I feel like in trying to save a cat that you don't know, it looks a little bit something like this.

55:00 So you get scars, you get scrapes. You get all these things because, despite the fact that you're trying to help it, it has a way about it. And you know what's crazy. Your true friends will treat you just like you treated the cat. You will keep it at arm's length because you know that it will hurt you, but you won't let go. Come on somebody. You have any true friends in your life that won't let go of you, despite how messed up you are. They've seen you hurt people. They've seen you disrespect and curse folk out and they're like man.

55:40 I got to keep you at a distance but I ain't going to let you go. I love you. I just got to move you somewhere safe. You need to come on down to Life Groups, brother. Oh, praise God, I'll give you one. I'll give you this one for free. We'll close with this. You know I come from Pentecostal Ruiz. This is my sixth closing, so for my final closing I want to read you one scripture. This is from John 11, verses 43 to 44. And before we read, I'll give you the context. So Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha, has died.

56:24 He dies, and Jesus does not go. Once he hears that he is sick, he remains where he is for two more days, and then he goes to see him. By this point, lazarus is deader than a doorknob, but Jesus goes to do what only God can do. Now, this is where we pick up. Now, when he had said these things, he cried with a whisper. Is that what it says? No, no, no, no. He cried with a loud voice Lazarus, Come forth. Now it's only funny, though, because he doesn't whisper it.

57:04 He says it loud because, despite the fact that he's at the tomb, he's not speaking to the tomb, because Lazarus' body is in the tomb, but Lazarus is somewhere else. I'm just giving you some free theological lessons. Right now, lazarus is in Sheol, he's in another place, so Jesus has to speak to where he is, not to where he is. Am I blessing you yet? Okay, so, and then notice that he has to say Lazarus, because he doesn't just say come forth, because if he did, it would be a zombie apocalypse on earth. He didn't want that. So he says Lazarus, come forth. But that's not even the part that we're talking about right now. Check this out. And when he who had died came out, bound, hand and foot, with grave clothes and his face was wrapped with a cloth.

57:51 Jesus said to them loose him and let him go. Life groups, life groups, what you mean, life groups, that's life groups. Because the same thing that happened to Lazarus happened to you. You were dead and there was no way to redeem you, no way to deliver you, and God came through in his mercy and in his love and at just the perfect and right time he snatched you from the grip of hell and he gave you eternal life. But I love this Jesus. He could have said I've done this thing, that only God can do this impossible work.

58:34 And he could have said let me take the napkin off your face and let me cut you out of these grave clothes. But he doesn't do that. Jesus does what only God can do and he raises him to life. And then he moves to the side and he says loose him. He says you believers that are around him, you set him free. He says can you catch this? He delegates and puts it into the hands of the believers to bring him the freedom. Come on, church. That's life groups.

59:15 Help sometimes hurts, but it gets you free. Jesus is not going to do all of the work when he has his body on earth. You have to utilize his body, amen. This is the City Light Church podcast. If you've missed any part of today's message or if you would like to find out more about Pastor Boyan Jansik in City Light Church, visit us at citylightnyccom. That's citylightnyccom. Feel free to visit us online or in person anytime. We would love to connect with you. We pray that you have been encouraged today, that you have been reminded how much God loves you and that you are surrounded by grace.

1:00:02 Thank you for listening. Make sure that you subscribe to City Light Church podcast wherever you find your favorite podcasts worldwide.