From Survival to Supply

You want to see God's mighty power come into your life? Stop having confidence in the flesh. Stop leaning on yourself. Stop trusting in yourself. Collapse into the mighty and loving arms of God and He will do a miracle! Oh! He'll do a miracle, I'm telling you, in your life! But there has to be a collapse! There has to be a you coming to Him. You gotta do it! You can't think it! You can't! Welcome to the CityLight Church podcast. Thanks for joining us today as we look into God's Word and discover the hope and truth that He has for us. If you want to connect with CityLight Church, feel free to visit us at CityLightNYC.com. That's CityLightNYC.com. Pastor Boyan Jancic and his team believe that the power of the Holy Spirit is already working in our hearts and minds. As you listen to today's teaching, remember that you are deeply loved by God, that you are surrounded by His grace, and that He has a real hope and a future for you. There is an anointing here. I want you to open up your heart and just train yourself to be a good drinker. I have to say that there's good drinkers and there's soon to be good drinkers. But get to be a good drinker. Where you make like a sponge and draw on God's flow. Because the answer is in his flow, in his spirit, in the oil. I won't be provoking you too much today. I just, God has wonderfully sedated me, so I'm not going to be messing with you. That means you got to provoke yourself. And you know, Jesus was provocative and Jesus provoked people all the time. You know, when I provoke people, it's not because I'm, like mad at you or trying to be jerky towards you. But people come in with all sorts of stuff. They come in complacent. The Spirit of God is moving. I see that they're a step away from a miracle, but they're kind of like thinking about whatever they're thinking about. I got to provoke you into faith. Jesus did that all the time. He comes up to a lame man, 38 years, didn't walk, and says, what do you want me to do for you? Are you sure you want to be made well? That's provoking him. The man with the withered hand had this horrible weakness, this horrible deficiency. He was in the synagogue where Jesus was preaching, hiding his hand. How do we know he was hiding his hand? Because they didn't beat him up and kick him out. It was illegal for him to have a withered hand in the synagogue. And you know what Jesus does? Pretty provocative. He says, stand in the midst. Uh-oh. You know, he's probably in the corner like this, in the shadows. Uh-oh. Jesus says, get up in front of everybody. All right, that's bad enough. He comes out, and then Jesus says, stretch forth your hand. Put that disgusting, grotesque deficiency of yours, that weakness, out in the open. And it says, as he stretched forth his hand, it was made whole. But he provoked him into that miracle. He wouldn't have gotten the miracle in the shadows hiding. And speaking of deficiencies and weaknesses, I have seen this theme in the Bible when I first started reading the Bible. I got saved when I was 16, and I mainly stuck with the Gospels. I tried reading the Epistles, but I was too newly saved. They didn't make sense to me. I was like two weeks old, and the fellow who led me to the Lord, he said, you need to read Romans. I made it through like halfway, and in the old King James too, because I didn't know there were other versions. But, you know, I didn't know there were other versions. So I'm 16 years old reading thou, yea, way, nay, and I just, I stuck with the Gospels. But then I went to college, 18, and I thought I got to grow up. Let me start reading the entire Bible. And I quickly saw a certain pattern, call it a theme, developing. I saw it, for example, with Moses, where when he was in Egypt, he saw a fellow Hebrew getting oppressed by an Egyptian taskmaster. So Moses kills the Egyptian taskmaster. Of course, he's run out of town, and he ends up tending his father-in-law's sheep for the next 40 years. So what was the theme there? The theme was, he was called to be a deliverer, but he acted in the flesh. He acted independently. He acted with self-sufficiency. He tried to make it happen in his own timing and his own strength, and it didn't work out well for him. And so he had to go take a cool-off period for 40 years, tending his father-in-law's sheep. I feel like that's like the extra step of humiliation. Not even his own father's sheep, but his father-in-law's sheep. And he did that, by the way. He made the mistake when he was 40. He did that. So now he's 80 and he's in the wilderness and he sees a bush that burns. And it's God appearing in the bush that burns and isn't consumed. Thank you, because that would have bothered me the whole time. Thank you. Even though it didn't spill, I appreciate that, really. Not kicked over my water bottle, as I tend to do every other Sunday, yet I still put it there. Quack fixes, whatever falls off, and thank you for that. Moses has a God encounter. He had a 40-year period to think about not being so strong in himself, not being so self-sufficient. Now God speaks to him through a burning. He didn't even have God appear to him when he was so strong, when he was 40, and took matters into his own hands, yet he thought he was the man. Now here's God appearing to him in the burning bush and gives him a mandate. And Moses doesn't say, finally, you came around. You picked the right guy, God. No, he's been humbled. He's now embracing his weakness. And he says, I can't even do it. I got a stuttering problem. How will I do it? And God says, well, at this time, it won't be you. It'll be me with you. There's a lesson there. When you see this theme of embracing our deficiency, embracing our weakness, because in embracing weakness there is strength, the strength of God. You can either flow and do life in the natural, I've tried that, hurts a lot. Or I can humble myself and see God put his super over my natural. You then see this theme throughout the scriptures. You can see this theme throughout the scriptures. Jacob was a pretty smart, clever, crafty fella. Knew how to take matters into his own hands. Knew how to get the job done. So aggressive that when God appeared to him, this was a New Yorker. He's like, man, I'm going to rustle me a blessing. And I'm not going to let go of him until he blesses me. So you know what God does? He touches his hip. It dislocates the hip. So now Jacob has a limp. And he kept that limp his entire life. It was a constant reminder that Jacob, you have a limp. You have a weakness. And that's okay. You don't rely now on yourself. You don't rely on your own clever craftiness. You don't rely on your own cunning. You have to lean and rely on God. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I'm speaking to people this morning who, you're not aware that there is a tension in Christianity. You're not aware you're trying to process it. But you need a miracle. You need a breakthrough. You need God to show up and show out. I want to give you a key that I found in the scriptures. And a key through running into a lot of brick walls and seeing God come through and what he's taught me over the years. And the key is this, that we can hold the tension of two truths at the same time. There is this truth, we are victorious. Amen. We are seated in heavenly places in Christ. It doesn't get more victorious than that. That is my confession. A confession is me agreeing with the word of God. That I am to go from strength to strength. From glory to glory. That's all true. Amen. At the same time, I am very, very weak. And weak, we're going to use this definition for the word weak, deficient. I am not omnipresent. I am not omniscient. Certainly not omnipotent. But God is, I'm not. I am deficient. I'm not all that. I found that the moment I start thinking I'm something, I'm actually nothing. Because pride comes before a fall. Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. So Paul said, I embrace my weakness. I embrace my deficiency because when I am weak, then I am actually strong. It says that God's strength, this is going to help you, is made perfect in my weakness. So now when I'm going through it, our tendency as people is either to collapse and go, oh, I'm weak and we just give up. That's the other extreme. That's wrong. Or to ignore it. And to be like Adam and Eve who were definitely deficient after the fall. You know what they did? They hid and they covered with fig leaves. And so that's what life becomes. As you well know, everybody's walking around with different fig leaves, covering up their deficiencies and weaknesses. What? What's wrong? You got a problem? I don't got a problem. I got fig leaves. Oh, I'm fine. No, you're not. And there is this tension that should be embraced. You are blessed. You are forgiven. You are victorious. And if you ever feel weak, don't wallow in the weakness. But in a healthy way, embrace it to the Lord, knowing that his strength then is made perfect. What does that mean? It actually means his strength finds its focal point. in your weakness. That means if you're having a weakness in your life right now and you yield it to God and you embrace it in that sense, you confess it to God like a laser beam, his strength, shh, comes into your area of weakness. How different is that than someone, and we all know that someone, it's not you of course, but we know someone, where they just pretend they have no problems. They pretend they're not weak in anything. They always strutting about, always putting up a front, And it's interesting, you all know someone like that. Maybe it's you, but you know someone. And they keep falling and falling and failing and failing and hurting themselves, but they never ever admit to having a weakness. And that's why they keep falling and falling and hurting themselves. I want to show you Paul's attitude towards his vast accomplishments. Philippians chapter 3 says, Verses 3 to 11. The title of this message should be Get Up From Under Those Fig Leaves, but it's not. It has no title. Get on about from under those fig leaves. Paul, he has a very, very impressive resume, by the way. Paul was no joke. Again, I was young when I started reading the Bible. I didn't know who Paul was. It wasn't until years later that I realized... That cat had it going on. And here he lists his credentials. He didn't want to, but they were provoking him. And he wanted to prove a point. So he says, all right, you think you're bad? You know what I am? First of all, I'm Jewish. We are the circumcision who worship God in the spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and we have no confidence in the flesh. You want to see God's mighty power come into your life? Stop having confidence in the flesh. Stop leaning on yourself. Stop trusting in yourself. Collapse into the mighty and loving arms of God. And he will do a miracle. Oh, he'll do a miracle, I'm telling you, in your life. But there has to be a collapse. There has to be a you coming to him. You got to do it. You can't think it. You can't. You can't hope it. You can't. You have to come to God. Actually, I was having a moment with God this week. And I felt, man, because when I was young, I would immediately collapse into the carpet. And I thought, ooh. And then, you know, I thought I should collapse into the carpet. But then I thought, God knows my heart. Like, I'm already submitted. And then I realized, oh, no. As I thought it, all these scriptures of people getting prostrate before the Lord went through my mind. And I just thought, because I'm getting lazier. I'm 50 now. You know, before I'd go on the ground, get right up. But now I'm like, that's work, getting on the ground. I'm sitting nicely in my home office. This all went in my head for about one second. Maybe 1.2 seconds. And when I dove into the carpet, like I'm Superman, but on the floor, you know. Crying out to God. I sense God's power. I sense them rush in. He responds to your weakness. He responds to your death. But you have to be willing to do that. You can't think it. You can't kind of let it go pass through your mind. You got to grab a hold of God. There's somebody here. You don't even know how close you are to a miracle. But he's waiting for you to come to him. With your weakness. How much more breaking has to happen. Before you do that. Let's see Paul's resume. He says, I don't trust the flesh. Man, I wasn't going to share the Montenegro story. I'm so tempted to share about my countrymen. I just feel it might. Should I share it? All right. Don't ever say anything bad about Montenegrins. I'll take it very personally. But since I'm from Montenegro, I'll say some bad things about Montenegrins. We have a very, very funny culture. Something that always shocked me about my countrymen was... It's a depressed country. It's what would be considered a not underdeveloped nation, not a developed nation, but a developing nation. Second world, the economy is depressed. They got all their money from tourism. Not so big on education. But if you go there, you will see manly men. I've never seen such confidence in my life. They are, like, you see five men. By the way, all the men are in cafes all day long. Where are the women? Like, a lot of the women are at work. And there's unemployed men in the cafes, and they're the loudest of the loud. And then one has to be more alpha and more man. And they're not, they're not, they gesticulate. Like, when actually, I have to use this comparison. When you see, like, gorillas in the jungle. And you know, they actually expand their physicality to show dominance. So I'm studying this for years, as a Montenegro but raised in America, and they're in the cafe, and then this guy, and then some other guy, and I know these guys. They haven't had a job in five years. They're 42 years old, live with their mother. All right? Now I've been to over 55 nations in the world. I got more degrees. I'm not boasting, but I got more degrees than a thermometer. Like I've experienced in the natural some success. The moment they meet me, they want to give me life advice. You go to their house, they don't even have a bottle of ketchup in the fridge. Very, very confident in the flesh. There's no point to that. That was just therapy. I just wanted to show you. I actually studied this out. This is such a unique phenomenon. How does somebody so unaccomplished... And they're not even faking it. They actually, they believe they're God's gift to earth. So I studied this out. This is a little deviating from the message, but it's an interesting note. I studied it out. I asked all my cousins. I asked other people. I said, there was this, you know, we're at the beach and I'm like, look at that table right there. And they're like, where does that come from? Like if I was unemployed for five years, if I live with my parents in my forties, I would go back to the drawing board. I would be quiet. I would figure out how to get employed gainfully. I wouldn't think I'm God's gift to earth, yet they sincerely do. And I said, what is the cultural phenomenon here? And you know what every answer I got back was? They said their mothers told them they were a prince since they were born. The mothers tell them they're just the man. When they're born and they lay their first poopy, the mother says, oh, this is the most glorious poopy I've ever seen. I'm going to have this poopy bronzed and put in the living room. And then the child is a teenager and passes gas. And the mother says, this should be bottled. There are Parisian perfumeries that should buy. This is so incredible. And this mother thinks she loves her child, but all she does is praise him. And they actually think they are a unique snowflake. No one is like them. And they are God's gift to this earth. And by the way, that's why in a country of 630,000 people, there's about 125 known believers. Because the door of the gospel is called humility. You must realize that you need a savior. If you think you're God's gift and you're fully formed and self-sufficient, you don't even look out from yourself. You don't realize, I need help. You think you're all that. That actually cripples the proliferation of the gospel. Pride is a robber. Yeah. Though I might, Paul says, I should be confident in the flesh. He says, I have no confidence in the flesh, but then he boasts a little bit. Though I also might have confidence in the flesh, if anyone else thinks he may have confidence, I more so. In other words, saying, okay, just for a moment, you want to compare resumes? Heads up, mine is better. I'm more accomplished. And then he lists his accomplishments. Circumcise the eighth day. Check. Of the stock of Israel, check. Of the tribe of Benjamin, check. A Hebrew of the Hebrews. Concerning the law, yo, I'm a Pharisee. You don't get more religious than that. Do you know a Pharisee had to have memorized the first five books of the Bible? Like Numbers, Leviticus, the Pentateuch, the first five books. They had to memorize it in order to be a doctor of the law. A Pharisee. Paul says, I'm that. Concerning zeal, check. I was persecuting the church. Concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. He says, I kept it all. But what things were gained to me, these I have counted lost for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things lost for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord. For whom I have suffered the loss of all things. And all these things lost. All of these accomplishments and things that make me so. My whole resume, I count it as trash, rubbish, garbage. When you're feeling weak, Satan wants you to get depressed about your weakness. Shame you about your weakness. So then you shun weakness and you put fig leaves and fake it. There is another path, by the way. When you're experiencing weakness, your true identity, your positional reality is not weakness. You have been made strong in Christ. You are thoroughly forgiven by his blood. You are blameless. You are made perfect in him, positionally. But in this life, you're going to have tremendous weaknesses. Some that are going to try to affect and alter the course of your life. What do you do then? Get depressed about them? Hide them? Fake it till you make it? No. Present them to God. Whatever deficiency you have, put yourself on God's mercy and watch his strength find its focal point in your weakness. Hallelujah. And I'm trying to break people through into being able, men especially, to be comfortable with coming to God with weakness. To admitting to themselves. You can't have weird binary thinking. Either I'm weak or I'm strong. When I'm strong, it's good. When I'm weak, it's bad. So hang on. Hold both. We're sophisticated people. We're intelligent New Yorkers. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. You can hold that tension together. This will activate the mighty power of God in your life. I count those things as trash. Let's read Revelation chapter 3. There's more in Philippians 3, but we'll go to Revelation, which I just read a couple of weeks ago because I preached the message on keeping the fire. You can't preach a message on keeping the fire without preaching on Revelation chapter 3. Valedictorian, come here. I want to pray for you. We are so proud of you. You know, I was so, she made valedictorian. I mean, let them see you. Let them see. Look at this. Come back. Stretch your hand. We want to bless what God is doing. And you know what I noticed about her walk with the Lord? It's one of humility. Don't get proud because you're so humble, though. Lord, thank you for the mind you've given her. Thank you for the discipline. Thank you for the hard work she's put in. We breathe your breath upon her. Lord, guide her every step of the way with decisions about college, decisions about the future, the littlest things. Lord, we thank you that your hand is upon her. Her future is bright, bright, bright. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Amen My girl there is wicked smart Too few of you got that reference Who got it? Thank you Praise God Everyone over 35, 40 got it Watch Good Will Hunting You're 35 and under crowd To the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, these things says the amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God. He's speaking to the Laodicean church. By the way, those are different church ages. This is our church age. He's speaking to us. I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. You can't preach any kind of sermon on revival without at least once referencing this. So then, because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot... I will vomit you out of my mouth, right? And then typically the preacher stops there. And we don't want to be lukewarm. And we realize, depending on who the preacher is, who's delivering it, it might have hope, it might be... Don't make Jesus spit you out of his mouth. And you have no hope. You're just afraid now. Lukewarmness gets you spit out. And I don't want to be lukewarm. But I rarely see people go in and dissect what actually was the root of this lukewarmness. See, the lukewarmness is the fruit of... A lot of times we look at the fruit, but the root under the surface we leave unchecked. Thankfully, Jesus goes in and with great detail defines the root. What was this church's problem, the Laodiceans? Us. What is their problem? Too strong in themselves. Too proud. Too self-sufficient. Too Montenegrin. Because you say I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing. See, that's the opposite of knowing you need him for everything. Do you know to this day, I get nervous before preaching. I'm talking about this more because I shared it with some people and they seem shocked. Because it seems so natural. And right now I'm fine. But always before service, I gulp real hard. And always it feels like it's been 25 plus years. But I know me. I know how I have a wonderful gift to mess things up. I know that apart from God, I mean you guys all travel from different distances to hear me preach, but me, apart from God, you wouldn't cross the street to hear what I have to say. You wouldn't. So I'm really, really needy. So every time, I never get up and go, wait, wait, did they get a load of what I got for them this morning? I'm here. And by the way, that's why. Let me just tell you a little more. You know, there's pastors in the beginning of service. They're shaking hands. They're laughing. I admire them. I wish I could be that. I can't. If you know me, like, outside of service, I'm the most friendliest. I really am. But in service, that's why I don't really talk. It's not the time for, like, us to become friends. Because before service, all I'm thinking of is God, come through one more time. God, I've got my message notes and all I'm going is, God, if you don't come through, I'm finito. I'm finished. I need you. I need you. I'm not going to be. God, you got to come and touch the people. Because you say I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing, you're so proud, you're self-sufficient, you don't even know the truth. I see with 20-20 vision from heaven, I see you really are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. I'm giving you some advice here, he says. I counsel. When Jesus says, I'm giving advice, you better take it. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, that then you will be truly rich, and white garments that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed, and anoint your eyes with eye salve that you may see. I've looked at my life. You ever just do an inventory of your life? An honest one. And I go and I do an inventory and I go, when were my biggest God breakthroughs? Like practically. I, not in a fluffy, nebulous way, but when did I experience God come through where I say, I know this is you, God, and you take my life to another level, and my problems seem to collapse and fall flat like the walls of Jericho? I can list several dozen times the Lord has done that, like really dramatically in my life. And you know what I notice about each time? It was not when I was strong. It was when I was very, very weak. Are you catching this, church? Yes, I was looking to him. My faith was extended towards him. But inwardly, my mindset was, Lord, if you don't come through, I'm finished. I need you for the air in my lungs. I felt like Peter on the sea, walking on the water. As long as I keep my eyes on you, Jesus, I'm going to keep levitating on this water. But I know if I take my eyes off of you, That activates the power of God. Oh hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. Well, I'm going to read a passage. That isn't in the first service. It's an important one. In 2 Corinthians chapter 12, 7 through 10. Is this helping anybody? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. We're all very sensitive at the end of the day, you know? We got emotions. We got an ego. We got feelings that get hurt. And there's a lot of people who will speak ill of you, right, and try to hurt you, so you become defensive. You want to protect yourself. But that then easily becomes that I have to fake it till I make it. I can't even deal with my own weaknesses, so I'm going to pretend I don't have them. You know why I'm preaching this to you? I read it in a book somewhere. No, I'm living this. I'm living this. Jesus. And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of revelations. I mean, Paul got so many revelations. He was caught up in heaven. And he says, lest I should be, you know, become so cocky and so proud. Bless you. And so, Jesus. Because I went up into the third heaven, whether in the body or out of the body. I don't even know. I have these incredible God encounters, lest I become so exalted above measure. A thorn in the flesh was given to me. I don't have time to preach on how this isn't a physical ailment. There's no, at all, no support that this was a sickness. People who don't believe in divine healing, they love to say this was Paul sick. He wasn't. He wasn't, and when he describes the thorn in the flesh, it has nothing to do with sickness. It's an angelos, a messenger from heaven, sent to buffet him. The thorn in the flesh was constant persecution. He was a persecution magnet. That was the weakness that was given him to keep him humble. I had to say that. Wasn't gonna, but we must stand up for divine healing. Hallelujah. A messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing, I pleaded with the Lord three times. Some of you, you want to be like problem-free and permanently strong in every area. Hey, I love you. You came here for good news. I got some realistic news for you. You ready? You're never going to be permanently strong in every area of your life all at once. Ever. This side of heaven. For some of you, that should be a relief. You can quit beating yourself up. You're never going to have all your ducks in a row. You will always have a deficiency. Always a weakness. So make your peace with that. Because when you're weak, then you're strong. Hallelujah. You know, put a pause. Keep that verse up, but put a pause. I went on a sabbatical nearly 20 years ago for six months. This was a great time where the Lord taught me this. I felt incredibly, incredibly weak. A six-month sabbatical. I had not met Pastor Mo yet. Pastor Mo came in 2011. This was in 2009. So they had no associate pastors. There was no Pastor Mike White. There wasn't the elders I have now. So you know what that means? Because it's hard to raise up leaders who can preach. It's hard. They don't grow on trees. People were like, because I got counseling, you need to take a sabbatical. Okay, do I go to the pastor shop and order a few to replace? Like you say it like it's so easy. So Pastor Maurice, who ministered here last week, he helped keep the pulpit strong. Pastor Ernst was at my 50th birthday party. They were the main two ones, but I had other ministers come in. But I was so weak. And I thought the church was just going to implode. The church was not in a place of strength. And we were meeting at the Gramercy Theater on 23rd and Lexington. So we were paying a lot of money to be there. And now, you know, the Bible says, smite the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered. And I got smitten. I was going through a very, very difficult time. Totally weak. That was my first real lesson that, wow, it's really not that about me. God comes through when you are weak. God makes up for your deficiency. If, though, not always, it's true, not always, you got to come to him with it. And you know why I keep saying that? Because so many people don't actually do that. They hear this message, they know it's true, and they go, hmm. But then they really don't act on it. Because acting on it takes faith. Yeah. I can act on it. You say, how do I act on it? Say it out of your mouth. God, I need you. God, I am weak. God, I have nothing apart. You got to say it. Sing it. When you're in the shower and your bathroom mirror fogs up, write it. God, I need you so much. However you just get it, don't just let it ruminate in your head. Yeah, there's a power to that. A lot of people think to God, and they call it prayer. And they go, I don't know if God answers my prayers. You never actually really prayed. You're just thinking to God. You're texting your friends, you know, my prayer is that. No, it's not. That's your hope. You never actually pray that. My prayer is that God will give me promotion. But you're not really praying about it. You say my prayer is that. You're like an unsaved inspirational poster at the Target aisle. You're kind of hoping something, but... Come on. We got different kind of people here. Some of you Christians are wondering on fire. Why am I? Because we got people who've come in. And they've known this cheap version of Christianity. That's the only thing that's been presented to them. Listen, if you've been presented a powerless, non-functioning version of Christianity. That's not it. That's not it. That's not biblical. That's not real Christianity. Do you think you can? You know what the funny thing is with being a pastor? You guys know me a lot better than I know you. For most of you. You see my personality. You see who I am. And I don't hide anything. Do you think I would be up here after 25 years if this wasn't powerful and working? If I didn't see miracles enough? And then what do I do? Just come in and I'm putting on a play, like a monologue, just performing here? I would be bored out of my... I would run. I couldn't do that. All right, he asked the Lord that this weakness would be taken away three times. And he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you for my strength, my mighty, mighty strength, the strength that I formed the worlds with, the strength that I raised Christ Jesus from the grave with. My strength is made perfect. That means it's made complete. It finds its focal point. In your weakness. So take your weakness. I got many. One I'm dealing with right now. I'm presenting it to the Lord. I am the man. I have a weakness. That's what I mean. I'm the man. Sorry, you think I'm the man. You know, when Nathan came to rebuke David. He said, you are the man. Not in the modern sense, like you're the man. No, you're the man. You're the one with the deficiency, the weakness. You're the one who needs help. I'm glad I clarified that. I'm like talking about humility going, I am the man. My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly, I will rather boast in my weaknesses. Infirmities, people immediately think that means physical ailment. No, it means deficiency. Weakness. In my weakness, that the power of Christ... The most wonderful things I've seen was when I was so weak, I actually collapsed. But I collapsed into the arms of a loving Savior. And then the power of God rested upon me. The power of God wants to rest on you. Quit being so full of you. And I sympathize with people. Some people were raised this way. We were all raised different. Some people were raised school of hard knocks. And life has just taught you, if it's going to be, it's up to me. Go and get your, sharpen your elbows, make it happen. And that's what you think is God's way. It's not. And that's why you're so exhausted. You're tired all the time because you're sweating so much, trying to make it happen in your own strength. Collapse into the arms of a loving Savior that his power may rest upon you. Hallelujah. Therefore, I take pleasure. Wow. I take pleasure in weakness. Hallelujah. Also, when I think about those times that were most painful for me, this is the tension of Christianity. Those were the times when I was tightest with Jesus. I'm telling you the truth. If you see me like last year was the greatest year of my life, it was incredible. But I actually didn't have to work extra to keep my intimacy with the Lord. Because everything is so wonderful. I don't need him as much. I'd like to be that kind of person that I just love him because I love him. But I actually have to remind myself. But the times that were sweetest. The times when I heard his voice. The times where there was such an activity of the Holy Spirit. Was when there was such a desperation in my life. Because things were falling apart all over the place. So he says I take pleasure. Pleasure. In weakness. In reproach. And by the way, now he's naming the weaknesses. Does any of them sound like a physical ailment? Reproaches. That means when people shame you and persecute you. In needs. And then he says persecutions. In distraught. Notice he doesn't say, because of my eye disease. That's what they believe. Paul had an eye disease. And that's what he's talking about. They're actually these brilliant theologians. Because in Galatians he says, see with what large letters I have written you. Like he had big penmanship. But they say, ah, I see he had an eye problem. And then he says also, you want to hear this or not? I'm going on a rabbit trail. He also says that my appearance was a trial to you. So they say, they actually, no, but Paul says that. So they say, well, it's because he had pus coming out of his eye. And there's an actual eye disease where, meanwhile, by the way, Paul says, was stoned a couple of times, and he was whipped 39 times, hold on, on five separate occasions. So what do you think he looked like? Watch Passion of the Christ and you'll know. He was not going to be on the cover of GQ. He looked messed up. So that's what he's talking about. I was at trial. See, and it's funny how God, where you think Paul would come in and he would, how do you think it would come in? Armani suit, six assistants. He came in, Lord knows how he came in and how he looked after being stoned. They thought he was dead. He came back up. He was whipped so many times. This is how God does things. So he would look pathetic and weak. Meanwhile, he was the most powerful of all the apostles and wrote half the New Testament. Hallelujah. God always, it always appears weak. The cross looks like a total defeat. The cross looks like an epic failure. Yet the entire human race is saved through the cross. Something that looks pathetic and weak. God always flips weakness into a glorious display of strength. I take pleasure in persecutions and distresses. For when I am weak, then I'm really strong. Hallelujah. You don't know what to do, you're confused, that's a weakness. Once you, instead of fighting it so much, because also what you resist persists. Once you go and do the backstroke in it. Like in a pool, just collapse. I'm not saying give in, but let go and go, God. This is a weakness. But I present it to you. I give it to you. Let your strength come upon me. You put your super over my natural. This is too big for me. Now you can say that two ways. Because I see religious people, people without faith, they go, this is too big for me. But they'd say it in a way of quitting. You can actually say it with faith. You can do anything two different ways. I can say I need God with no faith. And really all you'll get, you can pick it, the spirit of doubt and unbelief will get on you. I need God. But really I'm hopeless and not even looking to him. And you hear that, it sounds right and holy, but you're like, ugh. They just slimed me in the spirit. What did they just put on me? It sounded right. You know what I'm talking. But it's like, I need God. So people can say, Lord help me. And you know like demons just got attracted. They go, Lord help me. There's like no faith to it. And demons are coming on that person now. But you can say anything with faith. Lord, help me. And you actually believe he's responding to your words. Then good things happen. God, I need you. But with faith, you can even say it in a bad tone. God, I need you. But behind that, I believe that he's being... Are you catching what I'm trying to pitch here? This is important. Hallelujah. Is there another verse? Because I wouldn't put another one if I was writing it. That looks like a good place to end. Let's finish up with Luke chapter 18 and verses 9 through 14. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. It's okay to be weak to the Lord. Yes. There's a whole story in the Old Testament about Mephibosheth. who was lame in both his feet. And he got a seat at the king's table continually. I preached messages on Mephibosheth. I'm very, you know, impressed by myself that I can pronounce Mephibosheth. I encourage you to Google Mephibosheth. It's somewhere in the Old Testament. No, it's like in 2 Samuel or something. Kings, whatever it is. 2 Samuel. And just realize as you're reading it that you and I are Mephibosheth. And David is pacing in his room and he's going, no, sorry, it's, yeah, David. And he goes, is there somebody that I can show covenant kindness? Were you going to say the Hebrew word? Covenant. Because that's good. Yeah, I said it before, but you memorized it. That's very touching. I didn't preach that message in years. And she used that phrase because I went into the Hebrew. It's covenant kindness. That's what God is doing. In that time, David's a picture of God. He's pacing in heaven going, is there somebody I can show covenant kindness to? And they say, there is a son, a grandson of Saul, son of Jonathan. But he's lame in both his feet. His ankles were broken. That's not so good back then to be that way. You're considered an outcast, a reject. And David treated him like one of his own sons. And he ate at the king's table continually. And then the story says, and it ends with, and Mephibosheth was lame in both his feet. You and I are lame. Lame, man. And God wants to show you covenant kindness. Hallelujah. I'm telling you, listen, the more I leaned into this, this is like one of my core messages. I just haven't preached on it in a long time. But the more I leaned into this and discovered this, the more I realized, God, like this is real. And if you don't show him your weakness, the power is inactivated. When you come to him with weakness, his power is greatly activated. Again, the man with the withered hand, wonderful example. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I mean, the whole gospel is actually built upon this. You don't get saved any other way but by first showing weakness. You have to repent and acknowledge your need for a savior. Also, he spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves. Don't do that. Don't trust in yourself. Don't be strong in yourself that they were righteous and despised others. And I love how this is set up. It's like Jesus is telling a joke. Two men went up to the temple to pray. You know, it's like three men walking to a bar. A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi. Two men went up to the temple to pray. One a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. So a Pharisee and a tax collector. Just for the new people, what does that mean? A Pharisee should be the most holy. Memorize the first five books of the Bible. devoted their life into the service of God. A tax collector, if you didn't know, was the lowest of the low. Why? Because Israel was under Roman occupation. Rome was taxing them, but it was actually local Hebrews who were the tax collectors ripping off and overcharging their own people to give to the Roman government. Ew, right? So that's why the tax collector would be the lowest of the low. Pharisees should be the highest of the high. But here's what actually happens. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus within himself. God, I thank you that I am not like other men. Can you imagine? God, I thank you right now that I'm not like other pastors. They're so self-sufficient, Lord. I'm so humble. Other pastors have secret sins. Not me, Lord. I'm squeaky clean. I'll keep going just for the sake of that person laughing to my right. I live for that. That makes me so happy. I thank you that I'm not like other men. Extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. That would be even better. What if I prayed and I go, thank you, Lord, that I'm not like Pastor Mo. I'm sorry, we're colleagues, there's no one else to pick on. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I possess. He goes now into, you know, people actually do this. Like, I'm going to give God my resume, I'm going to impress him with my list of accomplishments. You never see it work, ever. He's not impressed. He's not impressed. And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, God, be merciful to me, a sinner. Two totally different heart attitudes. One is self-sufficient. One is proud of themselves. One is strong in themselves. This tax collector... He realizes he's weak, he's deficient, he needs God's mercy. Jesus says, I tell you, this man, the tax collector, went down to his house justified rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled. And he who humbles himself, humbles himself enough to admit deficiency, will be exalted. Let's give the Lord a hallelujah. Worship team. Father, I thank you for the grace. to come to you no matter how many times, to acknowledge weakness, to acknowledge deficiency, lack. We will not be like those people who say, we are fat and are full and have need of nothing. But we need you. We need you in our families. We need you in our private lives. We need you at work. We need you in the future. We don't even know what's coming down the road, but you do. We need you so much. We want to be like Solomon who said, I can't even come in or come out unless the Lord leads me. In Jesus' name, be upon your people this week. May many take this message to heart and actually dive headlong into their carpets and pursue you and watch God's mighty miracle power be made manifest. In Jesus' name, shout amen. Amen. Amen. This is the CityLight Church podcast. If you've missed any part of today's message, or if you would like to find out more about Pastor Boyan Jancic and CityLight Church, visit us at citylightnyc.com. That's citylightnyc.com. Feel free to visit us online or in person anytime. We would love to connect with you. We pray that you have been encouraged today, that you have been reminded how much God loves you, and that you are surrounded by grace. Thank you for listening. Make sure that you subscribe to CityLight Church Podcast wherever you find your favorite podcasts worldwide.